The Times Square Bathroom Situation

It's happened to many of us. You're walking in or around Times Square - maybe just after work, or just after dinner, just after a movie, whatever - and you suddenly realize that maybe you should have used the facilities where you were last. But you didn't. And now you're in the middle of the big bad city, and you have got to go.

This has happened to me a few times - a matter of bad judgment, really - and so when I'm in a bind, praying that I don't wet myself, I know just where to go based on where I am at that moment.

Last night (Tuesday night) was very mild, very comfortable, so I decided to walk through Bryant Park after work. I had just gotten to 42nd Street, by the subway entrance between 7th & Broadway, when I realized the items in my shoulder bag had shifted, and were hitting my arm uncomfortably, so I stopped under the scaffolding to adjust. That's when I noticed a young woman (and obvious tourist, too) approach the NYPD Officer standing just a few feet away from me.

I heard her ask him where the nearest restroom was. His response was to look baffled, peer around in a few different directions, squint at her and say "there are no public restrooms." I could have smacked him. Instead I tapped the woman on the arm and directed her to what I believed the nearest restroom to be. It turns out there was one closer, but it had just opened and I didn't know about it until after I'd directed her.

Seriously, though? A cop standing in the midst of Times Square and claiming not to be aware of any bathrooms? Fail. BIG Fail. This is very useful information to have (and I don't have all of it, but I have quite a bit), so I'm going to share it with you now: where to find a bathroom in midtown Manhattan.

Note: if you're in the city and know of a public/free/cheap restroom - feel free to comment!

Starting at the bottom of the map: 

A. Manhattan Mall - There's a big 'ole JC Penny there now, and yes, there's a restroom (not *in* the JC Penny, but on Level 2, the next level above street level)! No purchase necessary!
B. Macy's - Restrooms are noted on the floor plans - definitely no purchase necessary.
C. Penn Station - It's not pretty, and you may wanna bring your own toilet paper, but these restrooms are well-monitored (for homeless people and sexual predators) and sometimes there's a line, but a bathroom's a bathroom. 

D. Lord & Taylor - Immaculate public restrooms. 
E. The Mid-Manhattan Library - you don't even need a library card to use the restrooms, which are on the 2nd, 3rd and 5th floors. The 2nd floor ones are usually locked, so I just go automatically to the 3rd floor (they're to the right when you get off of the elevators).
F. Grand Central Terminal - There are restrooms on both ends of the food court/concourse downstairs.
G. Bryant Park - on 42nd street, right behind the New York Public Library - small, but convenient.

H. Stitch - I only recommend this one if you're willing to purchase an alcoholic beverage. Stop by the bar as you walk in and order your drink, then head for the restroom across the way on the first floor. 
I. McDonalds - I really don't recommend this one, but if you're in a fix, it's there. 
J. Charmin - Charmin just opened this Times Square location. I haven't been in yet, but it's decorated with clouds and bears who look like they've really gotta go. And the staff are dressed up in lab coats, as if they're taking down scientific data about your Charmin experience, but really they're just glorified bathroom attendants.
K. Times Square subway station - this is great if you're in the middle of a commute. The restrooms are located near the elevator between the I-2-3 and the N-Q and S. Note: the station connects to the Port Authority, where there are also public restrooms on the concourse level.
K.5. (Because i forgot to label it before I started adding letters) Toys R' Us - only if you're brave enough to withstand children with idiot parents. Take the escalators up to the second floor and look for the signs indicating customer service/gift wrapping/restrooms - no purchase is necessary - also, no children are necessary.
L. Marriot Marquis Hotel - My favorite Times Square bathroom. Enter the hotel lobby via the revolving doors OR through the Starbucks, and take the escalator up to the 2nd floor OR take the elevators up to the 8th floor shopping concourse. Both levels have public restrooms.
M. I'm not sure what to call this, nor do I absolutely recommend that you use the bathroom here - it's a food court of sorts located at 705 8th Avenue, between 44th and 45th, and at any point in time it could have a Pizza Hut, a Church's Chicken, a Chinese place, a Juice Bar, a Nathan's Hotdogs, and an Arthur Treachers ALL in the one place...and they have a tiny little dirty bathroom through the back and down the hall...
N. Rockefeller Center - their public shopping concourse comes with public restrooms!
O. M&M World - no purchase necessary, but expect to purchase something...it's M&M World for gods' sake. Restrooms are on the top level. 
P. Bamboo 52 - This is another one where you may need to put in an order for a beverage and then hit the bathroom. Good news - they have edamame, and they're not terribly pricey. 

Q. D.J. Reynolds - Definitely plan to order a drink, here. They've recently classed the place up slightly - and by that, I mean the prices have gone up - and they're not too keen on freebies. 
R. Time Warner Center - There are 3 restrooms - 1) Whole Foods - basement level, hang a right when you get off of the escalator and circle through the dining area - bathrooms will be on the left, 2) Borders - 2nd floor of the TWC, right in front of you off of the escalators, and the restroom is inside the store - hang a right directly after the cafe, 3) TWC restrooms - go to the second floor and once off the escalator head North-ish towards Sephora, but stay to your left. A mall-restroom-like hallway will appear to your left.


I hope this helps!

Meme-ing

Since roundabout 2009, there's been a list of books floating around the internet as a meme (For those of you unfamiliar with the term, an internet meme is kind of like an inside joke...on the internet. Myspace quizzes (does anyone even have myspace anymore??), the silliness of icanhascheezburger, email forwards, and especially fabulous youtube videos i.e. Sassy Gay Friend, care of Second City - these are all prime examples of memes.) from BBC - a list of 100 books, only 6 of which the average person is meant to have read.

As far as I, and many of my fellow bloggers can tell, the current list doesn't seem to have any relation to BBC. And as far as I, and many of my fellow bloggers can tell, the whole thing is hogwash. If you've only read 6 or fewer of these books, then you must have skipped high school to live under a very large rock. Or maybe you just went to a Catholic high school in Central Florida. But be that as it may, you *must* have read at least 7 of these books. I mean, come on. Once you see the list, you'll understand.

But moving forward a bit, I did manage to find a list from the BBC *ON* BBC's website (last update on the page was in 2004) under the heading of "The Big Read" and saying: "In April 2003 the BBC's Big Read began the search for the nation's best-loved novel, and we asked you to nominate your favourite books." Obviously, since it's from the BBC and since they spelled favourite with a u, you can tell that this particular list is meant for Brits. Which is not to say that it does not have Universal connotations, but it makes more sense that, with list like this, maybe a person will have only read 6 or fewer of those listed.

Pushing forward, I found still another list which I believe may have been the source for the current meme, only it's not from the BBC, it's from The Guardian, and it's still slightly different! And even it doesn't say anything about the 6/100 rule, and its purpose was to create a list of "books you can't live without."

So what's a meme-minded girl to do? How about tackle all three. I think it's only fair.

Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish, or of which you read an excerpt. 

First, the fake meme:


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis --> see, this is why I don't trust this meme. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe are contained within #33, the Chronicles of Narnia, and should not have their own slot! Bad form, meme!

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - A.S. Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Read: 31
Attempted: 7


Next, "The Big Read"

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith *I saw the movie! LOL
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie 

Read: 27
Attempted: 3


And, finally, the list on which the meme was based: The Guardian's Books You Can't Live Without:

1 Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell

8 His Dark Materials Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations Charles Dickens

11 Little Women Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the d'Urbervilles Thomas Hardy

13 Catch-22 Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare William Shakespeare

15 Rebecca Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler's Wife Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia CS Lewis

34 Emma Jane Austen

35 Persuasion Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin Louis de Bernières

39 Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh AA Milne

41 Animal Farm George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney John Irving

45 The Woman in White Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies William Golding

50 Atonement Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi Yann Martel

52 Dune Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck

62 Lolita Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones's Diary Helen Fielding

69 Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist Charles Dickens

72 Dracula Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte's Web EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory Iain Banks

94 Watership Down Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Roald Dahl

100 Les Misérables Victor Hugo

Read: 31
Attempted: 6

Now, with few exceptions, my already-read books are mostly the same from each list. But in any case, I've still read about five times as many books as the meme cites for the average person. But it really doesn't seem extraordinary to me, since in the first list alone, 12 of the books were required reading when I was in high school...

Into the woods

I took a nice little walk through the woods PBP this morning. The leaves there hit their peak about two weeks ago, so most of them are brown, but I found some amazing oranges and yellows. I took these on my blackberry, for my mom :)

The Thief Lord, by Cornelia Funke

Available at Amazon.com

Officially my fourth venture into the wonderful world of author Cornelia Funke's mind, The Thief Lord is, on the whole, a bit more grounded in reality than her other works -- a shaker of salt with a bit of fairy dust mixed in. She tells the story of two young brothers who've just lost their parents, and who run away to Venice rather than face separation at the hands of their Grimm-like stepmother, their aunt Esther, and her aloof business-minded husband, neither of whom care very much for children in any case.

Upon their arrival in Venice--alone, cold, and hungry--they're taken in by a band of child-thieves, led by a slightly older child who calls himself The Thief Lord. For some time, everything goes well for the group who are supplied by their daily wallet-snatching, as well as by larger robberies that the Thief Lord takes on by himself in the dark of night. But then the Lord and his crew are offered a break-in job they can't refuse, just as a bumbling detective appears hot on the trail of aunt Esther's runaway nephews.

And just as you think all will be lost -- the Thief Lord has been revealed as being a thief only of his own home, the detective has caught up to them and escaped the childrens' grasp, and they've now been caught breaking into a private home -- that is when the magic comes in. It's not an easily-explained magic which could be why the book feels somewhat lopsided.

On the one hand, you have the children who are perfectly content to remain as they are and grow up in due time, and on the other you have Scipio and the Conte and Barbarossa, whose desires to be what they are not amount to enough to refresh this old magic of either turning the clock backward or forward. For Scipio, it comes across as a kind of Peter Pan in reverse.

I liked the book, and I enjoyed Funke's attention to detail, which made Venice seem magical on its own. However, the late introduction of "real" magic and the general weakness of all of the antagonists made the novel itself kind of weak. I loved the merry band of thieving children à la Robin Hood or Peter Pan, but without a solid Sheriff of Nottingham or Captain Hook to pit them against, there just isn't much of a good story.

CSI: Pelham Bay Park

Putting together the 6 years I lived here as a child, and the 7 years I've now lived here as an adult (there were 12 years in between these two instances), I've lived within the 5 boroughs of New York City for 13 years. In those 13 years I've never found a dead body in the bushes. I've never had a run-in with the Italian Mafia, the Russian Mafia or the Triad. I've never been held hostage in a bank or deli. I've never found a dead rape victim in a lake. Sure, my college had its share of stupidity and crime wrought by stupid students. I know people who've been mugged, people who've been robbed, hit by cabs (twice), raped and driven to suicide, I was just never there when it happened.

Whatever. Lenny's on the case.

 This isn't Law & Order (or any of its various incarnations). It's not CSI:NY. It's not NYPD Blue. It's just New York. What I have seen: Angry homeless people. Also, this one time, I was in a car with Ali and she accidentally cut off someone trying to pull out of a spot...when we got to the next light, the passenger of that car got out and started hitting the windows of our car (and when I say hitting I mean trying to break). As a result, Ali tried to pull forward, and rear-ended the Bx6, a city bus. When I was living in Harlem, there was a commotion outside so I looked out my window and witnessed a drive-by shooting...on a bicycle; the guy with the gun was on a bicycle. My roommate and I both called 911. Going back to homeless people, I've also seen a number of homeless people (more when I lived off of Columbus Circle than I do now) who were lying down on staircases as if dead, but who weren't. But I check!

The only good way to mix guns & bikes

When I go walking in Pelham Bay Park, I check the wooded areas for dead bodies. Just in case. I've been conditioned by these TV shows to think about looking, so I do. Today I saw something I've never seen before, though, and in Pelham Bay Park to boot. I took a route I don't usually take, which backs around the WWI memorial (I saw WWI memorial because it was dedicated in 1934 to those who gave their lives in "the world war" but since there's been a second one, I wonder if it's dedicated to them as well? There was no change to the dedication when it was refurbished in 2002 so....don't know. Anyway...) and leads to the path along the parkway. Just short of the parkway, I made a left turn towards the memorial, onto a path with lampposts and benches (as much of the park has). I was looking at the ground at that moment, studying the color of the fallen leaves, when I noticed some thin pale green paper on the ground.

It's a PILLOW!

I noted almost immediately that there were two of them, and they were wrappers for large trauma pads (like these, only bigger). It took me an extra few seconds to see what they were sitting next to. On the raised stone foundation upon which the bench sat, separate from the paved walkway, was a large pool of blood. It was a lot of blood. I've never seen that much blood in person. Immediately my TV-inherited CSI instincts kicked in. I took in my surroundings, looked around for more blood, noted that there was no visible arterial spray, and also noted that the blood was not only pooled, but congealed, meaning whatever had happened had happened at least a little while before I got there. There was no blood drippage elsewhere...there wasn't even blood on the bench. For a moment I thought well, Halloween wasn't that long ago...but I've done enough shows and such with fake blood to know the difference. Also, it's rained since Halloween, and these trauma pads wouldn't just hang out here.

Ha. Hand blender. Eww.

I was surprised that the amount of blood didn't make me sick. As someone who wishes she could be anesthetized for her flu shot every year, I don't do very well with blood things. I can't watch those shows my mom watches where they do the plastic surgery on camera...no thanks. I've also, I realize now, not done a whole lotta non-lady-parts bleeding in my life....which is a good thing. There was that time that I fell on a nail and it went into my knee....it was pretty deep and I probably should have gotten stitches, but that wasn't even much blood. I've fallen off of bikes and scraped myself up, I've broken my arm, I've chewed out part of my lower lip, I've stepped on a needle and walked around with it in my foot for a week, I've gone through the rituals of nasty teenage and adult acne...but even if you added ALL of that up, it would not have equaled the blood I saw today. Even if you throw in the time one of my classmates sliced off the tip of his thumb with an exacto knife at 1am on a drafting board...My sister almost sliced her finger off with a hand blender. Ha. Hand blender. Ew. I'm not sure how much blood there was, but this, again, was a lot.

By my estimation, (judging by the amount of blood and the fact that they needed TWO of the large trauma pads) the person whose blood that was might have died. I looked around again, no drag marks. Either the person walked away fine (DOUBTFUL) or an ambulance took 'em away. In either case, I called 911. I told them where i was, and said there were signs of an injury and some kind of recovery, but there was no police tape or cleanup in

do not like do not like do not like

progress. The woman confirmed that there'd been an ambulance sent to that location about an hour prior, and that there was a team already on the way to clean up, but she'd send an officer just to take another look.

I assume this means no police action was absolutely necessary. So....someone did that to themselves? It doesn't really make sense to me, but since I can't find anything about a shooting or knifing online, I've got to assume that Ghostface has decided to remain in hiding til the next Scream sequel comes out next year. *ugh* I scare myself just *thinking* about that franchise...



and now, time to go knock on some wood...

A Return to SparkPeople

The sky's starting to lighten a bit, which means the sun'll be up in half an hour, so I'll make this short, since I've gotta get out for my morning walk. I've decided to go back to the realm of SparkPeople.com For a while now I've been trying to write down my daily foods for myself, keeping a journal and such, and that's great. It's given me an insight into what I've been eating. Did it stop me from making peanut-butter-laced-brownies last night? No. But brownies aside, I've noticed that writing down what I eat doesn't actually make me feel accountable for it. Because I can very easily toss that list out the window of a moving bus and pretend it never happened. Enter, the internet. What I love about Sparkpeople is that I can track my foods and my exercise (which tracking my foods on paper did not do) AND you get points for doing it. The only real rewards come from YOU but it's like getting a gold star or a pat on the back....FROM THE INTERNET! Also, in case I ever feel like rejoining humanity, there are several thousand people on the website doing the same things I am, but without the pressure of actually MEETING any of these people which, since I can't stand most of humanity, is a good thing.

7500 pages, 7 weeks, and 45,000 words to go

Derby Square Bookstore

I need to re-think this whole goal-setting thing. Or, at least, the accomplishing of said goals. I've managed to cram myself into this tiny corner...I feel like I'm stuck under a pile of books in Salem's Derby Square Bookstore with no way out!

It's been two weeks since my post about the 10,000 pages I had left to read before the end of the year. That 10,000 pages have now been whittled down to 7500 pages and we still have 7 weeks to go. I feel like I'm in a good spot over all, but now the holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving is in less than two weeks, and I know that's going to disrupt my reading ever so slightly.  The following weekend, my best friend Ali is coming to visit from DC and, while I'm sure she'd rather be reading half the time as well, we're very Lucy & Ethel when we get together, so I'm not sure how much reading will actually get done.

And then there's my trip to Florida in December which will inevitably take away from my reading time. For one thing, there's a dog. And I will want to amuse myself with said dog. Secondly, there's family. And I want to spend time with my family. Thirdly, going out places involves being in a car, which means I won't be reading on said ventures. Reading in the car (and on the plane) makes me feel sick. Fourthly, there'll be a television with working cable. Which means I'll be basking in the glow of the idiot box for hours at a time. Fifthly, and perhaps I should have mentioned this firstly, my sister has Lego Harry Potter for the Wii....which I will be playing.

And then on top of all that, I committed to this National Novel Writing Month thing. I've been writing for 4 days and have almost 5,000 words. But the goal is 50,000 and at this rate, it's not looking promising. Plus I actually haven't written at all in the last 24 hours because I hate where the story seems to be going. But perhaps if I adjust and find a muse, I'll just get there. That is also interrupting my reading, and vice versa.

I've also got to clean my apartment. I've only been awake for about 5 hours (I slept a lonnng time last night) and about 2 of those hours have been contributed to cleaning my apartment. I'm halfway thru my bedroom. Pathetic. Tomorrow I'll clean the living room and kitchen and maybe make it look livable. Maybe I'll even pull out the Sega Genesis and play some mind-numbing games for an hour or so. That should inevitably help me focus. Unless I sleep 13 hours again, in which case I'll skip the Sega.

The Princetta, by Anne-Laure Bondoux

I am *in love* with this cover

Originally published in French as La Princetta et le Capitaine, Anne-Laure Bondoux’s 2004 novel is a children’s epic of adult proportions. Published in the U.S. by Bloomsbury Children’s Books, it has retained the basic aspects of a children’s novel – the high adventure, made up creatures and far-off places—but has also retained a mature perspective on the concept of the hero and of the epic journey.

Bondoux has managed to make adult emotions and situations playful by creating a whole new world out of the mixed origins of our real world. She’s taken known cultures – American, German, Italian, Spanish, Indian, Japanese and French (for example) and mixed them together, mixed their languages together, to make this new world with its new vocabulary.

Some terms and items retain their meanings (i.e. a harem is still a harem and a sword is still a sword) but others are composites of various languages. For instance, the robes worn inside the harem are called “sarimonos,” an obvious combination of the Indian sari and the Japanese kimono. (Yes, I feel like the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.) . And then there are the slave-guardians of Gai’s harem, the preunuchs, a term which sounds like a mix of “prefect” (at least, by Harry Potter standards of the definition of prefect) and “eunuch.”

Bondoux not only combined languages, but created a tour de force of both cultural and literary pastiche. The structure of the story is basically reminiscent of French and German fairy tales but as the journey continues the palate broadens, dipping into shades of Greek tragedy, biblical parables and even venturing towards LeGuin’s Earthsea in the chapters on the archipelago. Even some of the character names draw on literature and myths—specifically Orpheus (related to the myth of Orpheus and Euridice), Zeph (best associated with Zephyrus who brought Psyche to Cupid’s palace) and—though perhaps the most obscure—Babilas (who is quite large and quite strong, whereas St. Babilas was the patron saint of those with rheumatism and arthritis.)

I imagine the novel was quite a task for translator Anthea Bell to take on. Taking words of mixed origins settled among the regular French text must have been slightly troublesome. However, she managed wonderfully. As beautiful as I’m sure the novel reads in its original French, Ms. Bell has managed to take Bondoux’s work and make English feel like the original. That being said, the real beauty lies in the imaginative world that Bondoux has created—a world where women are sometimes islands, fathers are not always kind, and dreams aren’t always what we’ve wished for.


A side note: this is one of those books that I came across kind of accidentally, and fell in love with. I'm sad that I have to give it back to the library, and I hope to someday own my own hardcover copy...when I can afford it!

National Novel Writing Month

Yes, this month is National Novel Writing Month. This year I finally gave in to the temptation and signed up. I don't know if I'll actually get any kind of plot across in 50,000 words by the end of the month, but it's entirely possible. I already have 860 words, most of which will probably be tossed out the window within 24 hours. What I like best about this whole thing is that the organizers make it fun. I mean look at the website! It's fun! And it gives me something to look at (if not actually work on) when I'm too tired to read, to exhausted to watch Black Adder and it's too cold to go outside - read: at night. I'll keep y'all updated.

Both Ways is the Only Way I Want It, stories, by Maile Meloy

I seriously need to get out of short story land. I think part of my problem is that I LOVE covers. I'm constantly judging books by their covers because THAT'S WHAT THE COVERS ARE FOR! Thousands of artists, graphic artists and designers and editors go to school and study to create the most enticing covers. It's only right that I give them their due. I haunt the Book Cover Archive looking for new, interesting-looking books all the time. Does that mean that they ARE interesting? No. But what if they *are*?

American Eve - Evelyn Nesbit, Stanford White, the Birth of the "It" Girl and the Crime of the Century, by Paula Uruburu

Anyone who knows E. L. Doctorow's novel Ragtime, or the film or musical it spawned, will understand the terms of Uruburu's title. Before the musical, I'd never heard of Evelyn Nesbit or her reputation, or of the "crime of the century." I suppose the subsequent world wars, other wars, and the O. J. Simpson trial kind of usurped Harry Thaw's place in history.

Possession, by A. S. Byatt

It's very difficult for me to be objective about the books I really and truly love. My concise, spoiler-free commentary on Inkdeath realllly pushed me, and now I'm following up with Possession, which I have been in love with for seven years. It would be like me trying to be objective about Austen novels - I just can't do it. Rip-offs on Austen? Done. Casually tossed-in Austen reference? Done. But I can't, with any kind of scholarly respect or pride, present an objective review or account of an Austen novel unless I have something to compare it with say, in discussions with co-workers, etc. This book holds the same reigns to my heart.

Somewhere, a man named Verne is laughing at me

Once upon a time, there was a man named Verne. One day, he went to the doctor. When he filled out the patient form, he pondered what to write for a phone number. From here, the details get a little foggy. He either chose a) to write down what he thought was his phone number, which was in fact NOT his phone number, or he chose b) to write down a number in no way similar to his own, so as to ward off future calls regarding his health. Whatever his choice, the number was the same - my cell phone number.

Energy Scam

I'm not sure exactly how it works elsewhere in the country, but in New York City, Con Edison is your power company. They're the ones you pay to deliver your electricity and gas every month. You pay a supply charge (x number of cents per kWh), a delivery fee, and then taxes and/or other fees.