I've taken that little clause to heart - these are ten books that I want to give but, for various reasons, shall not.
1. Pride & Prejudice, by Jane Austen (to my cousin Gabriella) - Gabriella is thirteen years old, which is about two years older than I was when I first read Pride & Prejudice. She's not much of a reader, and much of what she does read is (sigh) YA fiction that doesn't have much merit. I would give this to her in an instant. But she wouldn't appreciate it, which makes me sad.
2. MASH, by Richard Hooker (to my mother) - My mom loves the series, but I'm not sure if she's ever read the book. In any case, if she wanted it, I would lend her my copy. But I'm not gonna go out and buy it if she's already read it.
3. Peter Pan, by J. M. Barrie (to Rick Perry) - By now you've probably seen the ridiculous anti-gay "Strong" Rick Perry for President commercial where he's wearing Heath Ledger's coat from Brokeback Mountain, and which features music by a gay composer. Yeah. Good times. Anyway, Rick Perry is a douche, and I think he lacks imagination. I would give him Peter Pan for two reasons. 1) I think he could benefit from its fantasticality. 2) I think it's be an hilarious addition to his commercial.
4. Fezariu's Epiphany, by David Brown (to Nathan Fillion) - Because he's into this sci-fi stuff and he might actually like it, whereas I felt it read like a video game. Also, Nathan Fillion is pretty.
5. The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen (to Jane Austen) - for editing purposes.
6. Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger (to the crazy I dealt with last week who kept demanding something I couldn't give them) - I hate this book. And I hate this person. Also I think their selfish disregard for others is a perfect parallel to the novel. And I'm hoping I could find a hardcover copy so I could chuck it at their head.
7. Peter and the Sword of Mercy (Peter and the Starcatchers #4), by Dave Barry & Ridley Pearson (to Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson) - I would like to give this book back and ask them to fix it.
8. Brian Jacques' Redwall series (to my cousin Michael) - Michael is ten years old and, like his sister, is not much of a reader. When I was just a little older than him, these books were the most amazing things to me...they gave me something to turn to when I hated everything around me. I think he might come to like them. But I fear they would just sit in a corner.
9. The Last Flapper, a play by William Luce (to Keira Knightley) - If the Fitzgerald biopic The Beautiful and the Damned EVER gets off the ground with the previously announced Knightley as Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald, she's going to need to learn to act. She's also going to need this play.
10. The Pigeon Wants a Puppy, by Mo Willems (to everyone) - Because it's just the cutest darned thing and everyone deserves to have a little giggle during the holidays.
You can still enter for a chance to win a new paperback copy of A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, from Penguin Books. Open to US residents. Entries will be accepted until 11:59PM on Sunday December 18, 2011. And remember, you can only enter once, but you can get a bonus chance to win by mentioning the event and linking to this blog on Twitter (make sure you mention @lalalalaurs)!