Once I acknowledged this, I saw absolutely no need to remain in contact with him. For the last ten months I had enjoyed peace. But then, just after I had gotten out of work this evening, then came the ever-predictable texting, as if it had never ended. I haven't checked, but my guess is that either he's just broken up with his most recent lady, or he's bored with her. Ladies, be warned. I have to wonder (though I didn't deign any of this evening's communiqués with a response) what it is that makes men (and, I'm sure, some women) pull this kind of stunt! What makes them think they can get away with that. I mean...I'll put up with...well, not a lot, but I know no one's perfect. But this? No one wants to be the other woman. No one wants to be benched every other inning (oh shit, a sports analogy). A woman wants to be Elizabeth Bennet, not Lydia.
|Doesn't it look like his left hand got|
eaten by that magenta scarf he's got
wrapped around his waist?
|That's it. Stare longingly. Right into|
Emma Thompson's heart.
Dear douchebags of the world, is this where you get your ideas, or am I giving you too many intelligence points on credit? Maybe you've just seen too many Tom Cruise movies. Or, for that matter, Dane Cook movies. Seriously, though, why would you take any of these characters in stride? You all do it. Every single one of you is more one of these than the other, but you're all the same. Why would you want to end up like Wickham, basically poor, stuck with young Lydia as a wife (who, by the way, has inherited her mother's fits and whines and...ahem....nerves), and living completely indebted to the man you hate most in the world. What of that?
|Count Mondego doesn't actually|
need a sword. He will cut you
with his cheekbones.
Or do you maybe prefer the quiet missionary life, alone in India, pining for Rosamond, but only writing to Jane for you know that she'd really like it there with you all mopey and dying-like.
Yeah, none of those sound at all like fun.
And so, douchebags of the world, I offer you this challenge: get a life. Crawl out from the porn-den of a rock under which you reside, and learn how to become a civil human being. No means no, yes means maybe. Don't cheat on the one your're with, and make sure you're with the one you love. Life is too short to go around spending it like a douchebag (even if the life expectancy seems longer these days).
Sincerely (albeit somewhat desperately),